Not That Any of You Actually Wanted Hairstyling Advice from Me

[queerbychoice]

[bossy peevish pettiness]

I think men should either not shave or else shave their entire faces evenly. When they shave it into funny shapes with triangles and squares and weird curlicues every which way they just look absurd.

[/bossy peevish pettiness]

Comments

[u-tenjou.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I've ever seen that.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Yes you have. Only, you've probably seen the curlicues arranged symmetrically, which men seem to think makes it un-absurd. I disagree.

I am referring to:

• sideburns of all shapes and sizes (Rufus Wainwright's are triangular)


• goatees of all shapes and sizes


• those weird verticle lines of hair that some men put from each corner of their mouth down to their jawline


• mustaches (handlebar or otherwise)

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I think the only type of absurd geometric shape that it hasn't become all the rage for men to shave into their faces is asymmetrical ones. Symmetry remains in fashion, so far. But I don't expect that will last much longer either. Soon we'll see streets full of men who all have half a mustache, and half a goatee on the opposite side for a dashing diagonal flair effect. They'll claim to be "expressing their individuality," of course (since that's what all fashion trends claim), yet they'll all magically take up the new pattern in unison after seeing it on other men first.

Re:

[u-tenjou.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was thinking all those things all at once. I was thinking, "ewwwwww, what is that?"

[embryomystic.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, my facial hair looks particularly ridiculous if I just let it grow. I have a bald spot on my chin, no hair between my soul patch and jawline, and my sideburns beyond a certain point are unequal. So I shave it all except for my sideburns to a certain length and sometimes my upper lip and below my lower lip, because despite being nearly invisible (blond), they're quite soft and nice to stroke when I'm stressed.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Awww.

You are 18, and 18-year-olds are supposed to look ammusingly ridiculous. Clearly your facial hair chooses to accommodate this requirement.

My facial hair is amusing too. It consists of two small symmetrical patches of whiskers on each side of my chin, with a bald spot in the middle. I shall draw you a picture and email it for your amusement.

[embryomystic.livejournal.com]

Well, then I choose to spite my facial hair, and shave it off.

[experimentego.livejournal.com]

It is cute how you rearrange pet peeve into "peevish pettiness." :)

I sometimes think it'd be cute if people would shave half their facial hair to form a hairless and hairy side of their jaw area. but then they'd just end up like that funky split-gendered bad guy from Mazinger Z.

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

I love facial hair... on men and women and everyone in between.

[roguebear.livejournal.com]

I actually really like goatees (at least proper goatees, which look like a beard with boundaries, not the creepy George Michael kind). And sideburns.

Guess a little facial hair goes a long way with me.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I have nothing against abundant facial hair; it's the sculpting it into ornate preconceived patterns that I find tacky. I can't look at a man with extremely detailed sculptures shaved into his facial hair without visualizing the same man in 25 years wincing at photographs of his past hairstyles and wondering, "What the hell was I thinking back then?!?!?!?"

The more resemblance a particular aesthetic style bears to the body's natural state, the less likely it is to look ridiculously dated 25 years from now. There'll always be somebody around someplace who's too lazy to shave at all, so full untouched beards will never look completely ridiculous and unheard-of to anyone. And fairly simple variations upon that, like a neat trim where it's all one length, or entirely shaved, will probably be around forever too. But the more ornate patterns are much more specific to particular places and times.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

So you don't want to look 10 years younger?

Hmm. It would be interesting to see if you change your mind about that in another 10 years.

[princesswitch.livejournal.com]

Conventionally speaking, women have makeup and men have facial hair. Men can use their facial hair to narrow their faces, make themselves look a bit tougher, et cetera. I don't like beards beyond a certain length 'cause stuff gets caught in them, but everyone has their preferences. *shrug*