queerbychoice (
queerbychoice) wrote2002-05-24 07:48 pm
You Are All Invited to My Funeral
Weather under 75 degrees Fahrenheit = functional Gayle
Weather over 75 degrees Fahrenheit = half-dead almost-corpse of Gayle lying face down on bed with one dozen fast-melting ice cubes piled all over the back of her head and neck and back, completely unable to breathe/eat/sleep/talk/think/function-in-any-way-at-all, while the constantly-running air conditioner utterly fails to ever bring temperature down to liveable habitat for Gayle-people.
Current temperature in this region of Sacramento: 84 degrees Fahrenheit*
*Weather.com helpfully informs me, however, that it "feels like" only 82 degrees, due to a low humidity level of 20%. Apparently 82 degrees is still WAY TOO HOT FOR ME.
I seem to be having a bad weather-tolerance year. I hate to think what I'll be like when actual summer arrives and the temperature goes up another 20 degrees.
Since I think I'm going to die if I stay in here any longer, I'm now going to go drive around pointlessly until my car's very effective air conditioner manages to put a slightly more comfortable distance between me and my mortality.
Weather over 75 degrees Fahrenheit = half-dead almost-corpse of Gayle lying face down on bed with one dozen fast-melting ice cubes piled all over the back of her head and neck and back, completely unable to breathe/eat/sleep/talk/think/function-in-any-way-at-all, while the constantly-running air conditioner utterly fails to ever bring temperature down to liveable habitat for Gayle-people.
Current temperature in this region of Sacramento: 84 degrees Fahrenheit*
*Weather.com helpfully informs me, however, that it "feels like" only 82 degrees, due to a low humidity level of 20%. Apparently 82 degrees is still WAY TOO HOT FOR ME.
I seem to be having a bad weather-tolerance year. I hate to think what I'll be like when actual summer arrives and the temperature goes up another 20 degrees.
Since I think I'm going to die if I stay in here any longer, I'm now going to go drive around pointlessly until my car's very effective air conditioner manages to put a slightly more comfortable distance between me and my mortality.

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that's what it'll be here in another month or so.
::hides under the bed and twitches uncontrollably at the mere thought of it::
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i'm the opposite!
anything below 72F is way too cold for me!
i'm so happy to be able to go outside
finally without being piled with coats!
Floridians don't get sympathy, either
I'll go to your funeral if you come to mine. ;-)
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I will be extremely surprised if I suddenly find myself moving to Portland with you.
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