queerbychoice | Are You Pregnant?

Results of my online pregnancy test:

According to our analysis, you are not currently pregnant. During your life, you'll have:

3 children.

Here are some stats about your next one:

Sex: male
Birth weight: 9 lbs. 11 oz.
Length at birth: 7 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 14%
Most likely defect: old-age

I'm confused. Does that mean I have a 14% chance of giving birth to a 7-inch-tall wrinkled old man, or does it mean I have a 14% chance of giving birth to someone predisposed to develop the mangling defect of old age later in life - in which case, does that also mean I have an 86% chance of giving birth to someone immune to old age?
Well, anyway, it's a relief to find out I'm not pregnant. 'Cause that would have been extremely weird if I was.