Pasta-Roni Recipes and the Great Mysteries of Life

[queerbychoice]

Tell me, why is it that recipes regularly instruct their followers in such ridiculous irrelevancies as the shape of dish they should prepare their meals in? Every single Pasta-Roni box I open tells me in the instructions on the back to put the ingredients in a "round, microwaveable glass casserole." So if I put them in a square, microwaveable plastic bowl, the food wouldn't come out right?

As it happens, I do own a "round, microwaveable glass casserole." My mother made sure I bought one when I was moving out on my own, because she said it was essential to cooking many types of dishes. However, I absolutely never use it. Day after day I rebelliously misprepare my Pasta-Roni in everything from cereal bowls to plastic Tupperware dishes.

All my bowls are still round-shaped though. I think I should go shopping for square and triangular ones just for the sake of being more rebellious.

Comments

quite the rebel!

[ex-infidel.livejournal.com]

do they make triangular bowls? I'd want one!

Re: quite the rebel!

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I've seen some someplace. You can find practically any imaginable product for sale somewhere or other, if you're willing to look hard enough.

[elfbabe.livejournal.com]

I read a microwave cookery thing once that said that if the food you make doesn't turn out right in a square pan, try using a round one. It said that no one's quite sure how that works, or why.

[legolastn.livejournal.com]

Actually, cooking in a square dish vs. a round one can make a difference, though for most recipies the difference is minor or unnoticable. The corners in a square dish tend to cook faster than the rest of the dish, whereas in a round one it is more even.

And my partner Allen, the cooking guru of the household, adds that glass has tended to conduct heat more evenly throughout a dish than plastic has in his experience.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it did occur to me that different materials could conduct heat differently. I'm not at all a gourmet though, and as long as it comes out halfway edible I'm incapable of noticing any difference.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

You have returned from your weekend black hole to re-grace us all with your beauteous presence!

::jumps up and down exclaiming much thrilledness::

i'm such an addict.

[zuzubailey76.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Pasta-Roni, I'm very distressed because my grocery store has stopped carrying the "Chicken" variety. Did they stop making it or something? Does your store have it? Truly, I'm addicted to it. I only have a few boxes left. . .

[I prepare my Pasta-Roni on the stove, btw.]

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Broccoli!!?!?!!

It's now overwhelmingly clear that despite the surface illusion that a fondness for Pasta-Roni is a commonality between us, in reality it is quite the opposite.

::wanders off muttering horrifiedly about broccoli::

Re: i'm such an addict.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure my grocery store still carried it when I was there a week ago.

::checks cupboards::

I didn't buy any of it so I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure I do remember seeing some there. I know it was there a few weeks before then. I think you should complain to your local grocery store's management.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Well, if the arrangement you're offering me involves being kissed by you then obviously it is a very good thing. ;)

I've been traumatized for most of my life by having nearly all my dining experiences utterly destroyed by the overwhelming stench of my mother's foods across the table from me - vinegar-drenched spinach, various stinky seafoods, bell peppers and brussels sprouts were among her favorites. The foods you consumed in my home, while they would have been appalling if I'd had to eat them, did not emit any stench to interfere with my own dining experience. That makes all the difference.

[rhekarid.livejournal.com]

I once ate raw garlic out of a coffee mug using a thermometer to spear and eat it with. I felt it was of dire importance you know that. To reduce the outward importance of round vs. square, or something. Yes, I really am that profoundly helpful.

Oh, and microwaving tupperware can warp or stain it. Don't say I didn't warn you. *shakes fist menacingly*

[donutgirl.livejournal.com]

Hahaha...
I thought my partner and I had so much in common. Until we wound up in the cereal aisle. He will eat _exactly_ the cereals that disgust me. Cracklin' Oat Bran, Honey Grahams, Blueberry Morning... yuck. And he won't touch Corn Flakes or Raisin Bran or Cheerios or any normal cereal.

Sheesh.

Even though I am Jewish and he is Catholic, this cereal thing is defintely the biggest conflict in our relationship.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Oh my! Yes, cornflakes are definitely vastly superior.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Oooh, a kiss! -blushes- -giggles-

Hey, I think you should know I've been talking about you behind your back. Here and here.

Translation of the Spanish conversation with Mikie (to save you the trouble of guessing):

"How are you?"

I am very content and joyous all the minutes of each day, because I am in love only with Metacarp and not with Katie nor with anyone who would get mad at me if she or he knew that I loved them. I am completely convinced that the only manner in which someone can be content is that all the people of the world should fall in love only with Jeremy.

"Well, for us it seems temporary, first, because after autumn we're going to be physically separated for.... well I don't know how long. Certainly all the winter and the spring."

Yes, this is the type of situation for which no one except Metacarp is sufficiently mature. -nods-

"I.... well, I don't love all the world equally, but when I love different people.... I cannot line them up or put them in order, one more than the other, one less than the other, you know."

For me it is very easy to line them up and put them in order. For example, I love Frankepi and I love my parents, but if I had to choose to please only one or another, I love Jeremy much more. It is because he gives me more happiness, and much less anger, and superior orgasms.

"And yes, you're right that I should talk with her about that, but I have fear that it could end our relationship. And I don't want to do that for anything. :("

In my opinion, if this is going to end your relationship, it will mean that she is too stupid and does not deserve you at all and it's much better that you know right now if she is so stupid so that you'll be able to start recovering. I much recommend that you be honest with her.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

You know the point during orgasms at which you just can't go on any longer, when any further touch would just cause your entire body to go splattering into tiny pieces all over the room from short-circuiting pleasure-overload, when there is absolutely no other alternative for survival than to stop and forcibly relearn how to breathe again?

I mean "I" of course, even though I'm writing it as "you."

Anyway: you've just given me the emotional equivalent of that.

I now have an urgent need to get away from you immediately before you accidentally kill me with it or something. I'm going to go hide under the covers of my bed immediately and not re-emerge for, um, as long as my evil alarm clock will let me get away with it. Go off somewhere else and, well, endeavor to be a little less perfect or something, so as not to endanger my health.