Jul. 10th, 2001

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I finally took the personality disorder test. The instructions say, "Low or moderate ratings mean that you are unlikely to have the disorder. High or very high means you are more likely to have the disorder." Here are my results:

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

I haven't seen anyone else on LiveJournal with anywhere near such low scores. Now I'm concerned about the collective mental health of LiveJournal users. Did LJ do it to them? If I stay on LJ for as long as they have, will I end up just like them?

Actually I'd better stay then. Right now it looks like I'm so overly healthy that I'm in danger of being boring.

Numbers

Jul. 10th, 2001 11:45 pm
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Number of times I've been in love: I will say four (1988-90, 1988-97, 1995, 2000-present). but on at least one of the occasions (when I was 12 to 14), the image in my head that I was in love with bore so little resemblance to the actual person that it should probably not be categorized as interpersonal love. it was intrapersonal love instead.
Number of times I've had my heart broken: three (1990 - J., 1995 - Flame, 1997 - Chris).
Number of hearts I've broken: romantically speaking, none. I did once leave a non-romantic friend (Chris, 1997) and caused pain. there were reasons though. I don't regret it.
Number of people I've kissed: two.
Number of people I've had sex with (besides myself): either two or none, depending on how you define "sex." whatever it was, it wasn't very good at all with either of them. with the first one (Flame - 1995), substantial parts of it were nonconsensual and psychologically torturous. with the second one (Justin - 1997), it was just loveless and tiresome and stressful and aggravating and I soon decided it was not worth my trouble anymore.
Number of continents I've lived in: one.
Number of drugs I've taken illegally: none.
Number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: One at least (Frank Aqueno), possibly a whole lot more; these days it seems that a lot of people care intensely about me from a distance who hardly even introduce themselves to me or tell me about it.
Number of people I consider my enemies: I consider huge conglomerates of people who share certain mindsets to be my enemies, but my grudges are not primarily against specific individuals, even though I could certainly name some names who've spoken on behalf of the enemy mindsets louder than others.
Number of people from high school that I've stayed in contact with: three.
Number of people from elementary school that I've stayed in contact with: one.
Number of piercings: none.
Number of tattoos: none.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: the name "Gayle Madwin" has appeared once in a newspaper article (that article appeared in half a dozen or so different newspapers, though) and once in a magazine article (just this month). my real name is less famous though, and has appeared in the newpaper just once, in my grandmother's obituary.
Number of scars on my body: hmm. I have a cat scratch scar on my little finger.
Number of things in my past that I regret: nothing really major. I find it problematic to regret things, even really unpleasant things, because my mistakes have led to learning experiences that helped make me who I am. to regret them would be to regret who I am, and I like being who I am.

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