Cardboard Cutout People and the Nature of My Relationships with Toasters

[queerbychoice]

I hate that habit that food has of spoiling when the electricity goes out.

But while I was out gathering new food, I also bought myself a nice submissive new toaster, one that agrees with all my own decisions about how long bread should be toasted for.

Never let it be said, though, that I never make any compromises to try to save a relationship. I had been putting up with the bossy old toaster's decision-making for most of a year.

Oh, and this delighted me so much that it needs to be shared:

"you know those life-size cardboard cutouts of people that they put up in stores sometimes? i -hate- those things. argh. i was just at the grocery store, and they had one up.. and you know how it is.. i come up from behind it, so all i see is a brown cardboard thing which doesn't register in my mind as anything, then i turn around and AHHRGH, a shiny two-dimensional stalker person!! it scared me. i always think they're real people who have snuck up on me before i realize that they're those damned cardboard things. and the non-cardboard people in the grocery store looked at me funny when i told the cutout girl that i hated her nonexistant guts. bah."
from the journal of groovycat, whose birthday is today

P.S. (after obeying the microwave) Don't you just hate it when you walk outside in the rain and a huge giant puddle of water which had been collecting on the leaf of a tree above you suddenly reaches the weight required to bend the leaf and slide off, and it somehow manages to fall right into the tiny space between your glasses and your face and glops wetly right into your left eye?

Comments

[crazyredhead888.livejournal.com]

You are so very disturbed and hilarious Gayle.

[groovycat.livejournal.com]

damn cutout people..

as for the rain bit.. at least it's only rain :) i have this miraculous ability to walk under birds at the exact instant that their bladders give out, which is not quite so pleasant as simple acid rain in the old eye. ;)

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

::curtseys::

Thank you, you're sweet.

[crazyredhead888.livejournal.com]

But why did you take me off your friends list then? *cries*

[ourchair.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that bit about the leaves and water falling like piss me the hell off. It wasn't until I was 18 that I discovered a solution: never stand under a tree.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Poor Brenna! But I took off about six to ten reciprocal friends who were posting a whole lot, because I couldn't keep up with reading it all. You post a lot. If you choose to keep me on your friends list I'll probably still read your journal sometimes, but I sort of can't really handle keeping up with it every day lately.

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes .... DooBeDoo

[moistgrrluk.livejournal.com]

I hate that rain thing ! The same thing happens with cigarette smoke when you try to drive and change a tape in the car stereo - which you wouldn't know , being too sensible to smoke ! But it does , and then you have to drive with blurry eyes and stuff , and it's no fun . Just thought I'd get that off my chest - I feel better now ...

Re:

[crazyredhead888.livejournal.com]

Actually I haven't been posting much lately. It's weird I find that the happier I am the less I post.