queerbychoice | Wow! My Secret Admirer Has Written Me Yet *Another* Poem!

Dear Gayle/Cynthia of Queerchoice :)

Gayle, oh Gayle, oh how do you fail
To see the depth of your own flaws?
You rant and rave and even rail
But never you look at the cause
Frigid limbs are typing again
When Cynthia's on the prowl
I see this queerness you pretend
Is making people cry 'foul'
I also see a desperate plea
From someone quite straight and alone
Surrounded by friends who agree
And owning a house of glass, blown
I know it's true I see for you
The 'Net is a way to meet guys!
You found yourself a dick to screw
And made your virginity die
You accept women; true enough
But none were good enough for sex
Licking pussy and getting rough
Were never on your list for "next"
"Next" was to find a 'pretty' boy
Someone shallow and spineless too
Then you'd put away your sex-toys
And homosexuality views
You found your 'Joe' and status quo
Amongst gays, bis, and lesbians
Queerchoice is led by a hetero
Just finding a way to 'fit in'

Much love! Smooches, sweetheart! :-*

Goodness, this is certainly news. Now I'll have to write to Christine, who I loved and proposed marriage to repeatedly ftom ages 15 to 21, and inform her that this long-distance doctor has diagnosed her as a male! And my friend Renna, whom I asked out and was turned down by . . . she's male too! And Susan from my "Psychology of Homosexuality" class whom I was obsessed with in my senior year of college and wrote tragic unsent love poetry to after she got a different girlfriend . . . and Alberta from Southern California with whom I had an online relationship in the summer of 1999 and I wanted desperately to meet her until suddenly it all ended horribly when she suddenly turned religious and resolved to convert to heterosexuality . . . and Dlfke whom I invited to visit me only a very few short months ago and got no response from, but who would certainly have been more than welcome to have me instead of Jeremy if she'd accepted my invitation before I got around to asking him instead . . . THEY'RE ALL MALE!!!! Because this secret admirer of mine surely knows what ze's talking about in these matters, right? Though I must admit, this person was right in one instance: Libby, the president of my college's Queer Alliance, was a major love interest of mine for a couple of years in college and it did turn out tht Libby was actually a trannyboy . . . he's now happily partnered with another transman and going by the name of Ted. But wow: Christine, a transman too? All of them? That would definitely shock me.

But then again, Jeremy's transgendered too, and back when in high school he even contemplated a complete sex change. So even if every woman I've ever loved has somehow turned into a man these days, I suppose I still can't very well lay claim to "heterosexuality" when the person I've been recently having sex with is quite adamantly not a man, and also (incidentally) possesses fingernails noticeably longer than I'm even biologically capable of growing mine out to, as well as hair quite as long as mine, and earrings (whereas I have none), and half a dozen makeup brushes (whereas I again have never owned any makeup brushes in my life) - and has also been occasionally known to go by the name of Miranda.

But wait! When I was in college, most of the members of the Queer Alliance knew me primarily by the name of Cyrus. So then: I am heterosexual after all!

Then again, that does mean that quite a few males I've loved must have turned into women somewhere along the way. Oh well, it could have happened - who am I to say?

Really though, it's astonishing how just one occasion of having sex with someone who only possesses the sex organs of one gender (eh, there aren't exactly a lot of un-surgically-"corrected" hermaphrodites to choose from these days, you know?) is automatically enough to somehow "prove" to some people that I'm somehow incapable of ever desiring anybody with any other type of sex organs. And you know, if I were some insecure het girl desperately trying to convince everybody I'm queer, do you have any idea how easy it would be to just go out and get laid by some random woman just to rack up the credentials which apparently hold great weight in the minds of stupid people? That I'm content to wait for the right moment with the right woman with whom I could actually fall in love is proof in itself that I know perfectly well who I am without having to engage in meaningless sex in a stupid attempt to "prove" anything.

But then, this person also accuses me of "putting away" my "homosexuality views" and lapsing into the "status quo." Oh yes, that's right! From my earliest childhood my parents' lifelong dream for me was that someday I'd grow up to run a nice conservative establishment like QueerByChoice.com and settle down with an upstanding transgendered queer boy with long blue-painted fingernails!

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That wretched little poem is so hysterically inaccurate. I've been reading your journal for.. well, it's been a while now, but still. I have no fear that you're a hetero trying to fit in. :p

*laughing hysterically*

thanks for the pick-me-up!

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and he even recognized you as pretty! though he then proceeded to bafflingly mistake you for an invertebrate and/or a body of water which is not deep. what a very confused person he is.

I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I've been doing battle with filthy Stalinist/Maoist swine on a message board recently, and their answer to everything is "if you don't agree with Stalin (or Mao), you're not a Leftist."

I see these "queer police" in rather the same light. "If you disagree with me, your not Queer, damnit."

It's somehow comforting to know that there is a hardline, right-wing authoritarianism to every movement. Even if they are idiots.

Oh, and by the way, to whoever wrote the poem: I suggest you revert to prose. The poesy is quite deplorable, and even when you had a word choice to defend the meter (for example, in the line "And homosexuality views,") you chose incorrectly. I can't help that, but I'm a poetry lover from way back, and you're an insult to the form, even considering the mockery you intend, which isn't as stringent in its rules as formal poetry and often takes on, mostly due to lack of ability, a sing-song quality, as you've attempted to do but failed to do. Bad poetry, even of this sort, is much more laughable than bad prose, and much more cowardly, too, for it attempts, through a rhymed disguise, to resist rebuttal. Of course, anyone with half a brain can make up a rebuttal:

Dykes with veins that course with ice
Try never to say something nice.
When confronted with dissent
They mock the owner of consent.

Or:

Queer theory is most understood
By those who've never tasted wood.

If a penis is involved
Queer mysteries cannot be solved.

Only those unpenetrated
Abide the truth most venerated:

It's not about a love or want
It's only what's been in the cunt.

See? It's not really too hard to do. Try harder or, preferably, stop entirely.

vox (poesy queen)

Looks like the poet took creative license and you can't stand the thought of you not being in charge of it. Sounds like you have superiority/inferiority issues.

You must've read it wrong; it made perfect sense to me when I read it.

Well, I consider myself a friend, and I think my "queer credentials" (the very concept boggles the mind) would be quite hard to challenge.

This post seems extremely biphobic (not to mention heterophobic). Ironic considering bis are apparently acceptable to the poet as queers. I guess in order to be true bis they must actually only have relationships with the same sex, or else their credentials will also be in question. Seems that it is the poet who is the one betraying queer sensibilities if anyone is.

Cynthia:
Oh yes, that's right! From my earliest childhood my parents' lifelong dream for me was that someday I'd grow up to run a nice conservative establishment like QueerByChoice.com and settle down with an upstanding transgendered queer boy with long blue-painted fingernails!

Oh, my Goddess, I am dying!!!! Your mom's dream is evidently similar to my mom's dream for me. ;-)

Maybe your secret admirer is a woman who loves you and is jealous of Jeremy. Either way, s/he's a stupid, useless bitch whose courtship and lyrical skills both need to advance beyond kindergarten level.

i find what you say about being heterosexual or not in the "jeremy" paragraph amusing and at the same time very confusing...i mean, why not just loving and having a great time without caring about your partner's gender or your own and without caring about whether you're in a heterosexual relationship or not?

i understand it has its importance to you, but isn't it at times a bit heavy to think about that knowing that love needs to be "mentalized" just a bit and not too much to keep its whole power?

Absolutely, yes. The person who wrote me the poem was the one who cared about gender. I was just mock-caring for the purpose of making fun of that person.

people are so dumb. but not you :)

... and people are so individual and non-crowd-following. But not you. :)

I'd like to say something very insightful but I can't help but laugh. I lived with a woman for five years and discovered that I could find them attractive as well as guys. But I feel just as faggoty/queer/gay/homo/whatever as ever.

I kind of flinch when people dismiss some terms as 'mere labels.' But am equally disgusted when someone tries to force on others their own procrustean interpretation of a word.

What I find distressing about the backlash against you is the idea that being queer is a one-way street -- that is, you can move further along the scale from straight --> bi --> gay, but any movement *back* in the other direction is [closeting | fundamentalism | posing | the '4-year plan'], pick any three.

In the worldview of 70's identity politics, heteronormativity is ideology; queerness is truth. Being queer is expressing the secret, hidden inner truth of your being that can now 'come out' into the light; any 'backsliding' is suspect in the same way that one looks at an alcoholic who can have 'just one drink' or a vegetarian who gets caught wearing fur.

I've continued to quietly identify as bisexual to my close friends. I don't expect that I'll ever truly wind up in a long-term relationship with a man, but whatever. The point was supposed to be that the personal is political -- not that the political MUST become your personal life. Or, as seen on a T-shirt: 'Political lesbianism: Not a lot of fun on a Saturday night.'

Vegetarians are not blocked from wearing fur by hypocrisy; VEGANS are, for they are the ones who cry about animals rights and believe no animals products should be used. Vegetarians are usually ovo, lacto, or ovo-lacto, but only vegan exclude EVERYTHING. Just a culture lesson for the day. =)

Seems everyone has contributed more replies of erudition to this post than i can possibly come up on my own with this thirty minute break, but let me just say this:

GODDAMN! I LOVE YOUR JOURNAL.

Er, sorry.

You've failed to notice that the poet NEVER called Jeremy a 'man', although by default he appears to possess all the equipment. Just because someone 'identifies' with being female more then a male doesn't change his/her genetalia or what he/she was born. Even changing it physically in an operation doesn't change what he/ she was born. Nature decided; he did not.

"Really though, it's astonishing how just one occasion of having sex with someone...."

Oh, you poor little girl! You lost your virginity and you STILL have had sex only once? *shakes head numbly*

That's an accurate enough description. It was basically one occasion; it just lasted 14 days and 13 nights.

Wow! My Secret Admirer Has Written Me Yet Another Poem!

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now my brain is officially dead

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your sarcasm is refreshing

Re: your sarcasm is refreshing

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