Violent Zombie Outside

Um, there's a person outside who has climbed up my balcony and is now banging rather hard on my sliding glass door. This person appears rather badly wounded - actually, to be more accurate, she appears dead and considerably rotted - but climbing up to my balcony is rather an impressive feat for a severely wounded and/or dead person, and I don't get the impression that she's here to beg me to call a hospital for her. She seems distinctly angry and, uh, violent, and if she doesn't stop soon she's going to succeed in smashing a hole in my door. I've already called 911, but no one is answering. I think I'm going to try sneaking out the front door and running to my car before she notices, but I'm not sure exactly what my chances are.

Does this have something to do with all the people on LiveJournal who are suddenly posting about zombies today?

Zombies, Continued

Okay, I made it to my car successfully and now I'm posting from the library. (ellenore, sorry, but your comment didn't arrive until after I'd already made a run for it. I think it's just as well though, because I didn't have any weapons, unless you count some heavy books and a very blunt kitchen knife or two, and I'm not at all confident enough in my physical prowess to believe I'd have been able to hold my own against her with weapons like that. Besides, I'd feel bad about hurting her, no matter how dangerously crazy she was acting.)

Everyone here seems terribly panicked, and there were horrifically bad drivers on every street between here and my apartment. Also there are weird people everywhere outside who are pretending (I think? I hope?) to be zombies. Did someone move Halloween to June and not tell me? I don't understand any of this. I do not believe in zombies. Any biologist can tell you that the idea of zombies existing is ridiculous. What are these things?

At the library I've been Googling for information, trying to figure out what on earth is going on. Another blogger in the greater Sacramento area says Sacramento has ceased to exist. (Excuse his spelling; he says he was bitten by a zombie, and I guess this gets in the way of good spelling. Never having watched any zombie movies myself, I don't know how this stuff is supposed to work.) Since I'm less than five miles from the city limits right now, I guess it's amazing that the situation isn't even worse here than it is.

The library is supposed to close in less than ten minutes. Some people are trying to persuade the librarians to lock the doors but leave those of us in here inside, to turn it into a "zombie refugee center." The librarians seem more inclined to kick the rest of us out and just lock themselves inside, though. No one is quite confident of their ability to tell the difference between zombies and non-zombies (well, no one except some obnoxious boy about seven years old who keeps loudly bragging to his younger brother that he can tell them apart with no problem - nobody believes him though, not even his younger brother), so nobody wants to trust anybody else to stay here inside the building with them unless they're a family member or friend or can vouch for that person's having stayed within sight of them continuously since before the zombie attack started. Or whatever weird kind of attack this is.

I've hardly been at the library for long at all, so everybody wants me out. I haven't been bitten by anything today but Stardust (when I was carrying her in a somewhat awkward position while running to my car), and since Stardust is an indoor cat, I don't think Stardust can possibly have been zombified. Though if I leave her out in the car much longer, one of the zombie people will probably notice her and start trying to break the glass, so I guess it's just as well that I should leave. I think I'm just going to head up into the Sierra Nevadas until I find a secluded wilderness area with no people around. No people, no zombies. Okay, I guess there might be zombie mountain lions or something, but really, I'm not sure that a zombie mountain lion is actually any scarier than a plain ordinary mountain lion. So the wilderness shouldn't be significantly more dangerous than it normally is. And thanks to all the time I've spent reading about native plants in the past six months or so, I think I actually stand a halfway reasonable chance of being able to find and recognize enough edible fruit to feed myself semi-adequately for a while. The only problems are that in the wilderness I won't have any easy way of hearing when the zombie attack nonsense is over, and that I'm going to have to seriously face down my Internet addiction. Oh, and I'm not sure what to do about Stardust. She might be able to learn to hunt for herself, but I'm afraid she'll run off and get lost and I'll never find her again. I'm not confident of my ability to do all her hunting for her, and I don't think I dare stop at a grocery store with the situation the way it is right now.

I have to go now, before the people who claim not to be zombies start actually biting me in their angry efforts to get rid of me. I guess you won't be hearing from me again until all of this is long since over.