Spy on Me

Go ahead, search my purse.

Yes, I am very bored indeed today.

the novel A Widow for One Year by John Irving
keys (three copies of my car key; one apartment key; one laundry room key; one mailbox key; two car security system sensors; two remote control car door openers; and three keychain decorations, all three of which have "Cynthia" printed on them)
a receipt from the purchase of one bright turquoise men's t-shirt and three glittery velvet hair ties for a total price of $6.96 from a store called Total Outlet on December 26th
three rolls of quarters from the bank ($5 each)
one hot pink hair tie
one stick of strawberry chapstick
one can of strawberry soda
a typed list of my girlfriend metacarp's clothes sizes and clothes style/color preferences (written last August)
a dark green wallet, about eight years old and falling apart rather badly

The wallet contains:

my driver's license
a self-portrait by David Bowie, clipped from the cassette cover of his 1. Outside album after the cassette broke and I bought a CD version to replace it several years ago
a sticker saying "Count me in - I voted!" from the November election
a little yellow post-it note with the following words written on it in red pen: "food $100, rent $600, car $200 (or bus $60), phone/internet $50, electricity $100, misc $100 = $1,200 per month = $14,500 per year or $12,000 w/o a car"
$24 in paper bills (a ten, two fives and four ones)
several dozen loose quarters, a few pennies, one nickel and one dime
assorted plastic cards: one credit card, one debit card, one Ralph's grocery store membership card, one Nissan dealership card, one car insurance card, three phone cards, one library card
assorted paper cards: two Nissan dealership personnel business cards, four HMO membership cards, one dental insurance membership card, one dentist's business card, one car repair company business card, one organ donor card, one social security card encased in protective plastic cover, and one not-quite-used-up Xerox machine card from my college which I graduated from four and a half years ago and will probably never again have occasion to make further Xeroxes at.