Creative Writing Challenge

[queerbychoice]

Walking home last night, I noticed something strange: a bike chained to a fence. "Huh?" you say, "That's not odd. Why are you bothering me with this story?" Because it was a stationary bike. Like, what? Ummmm . . . someone rode up on their stationary bike, chained it to the fence, and ran inside for a moment? This must be a fine specimen of a person. Imagine how robustly you'd have to pedal to make forward progress on an exercise bike. This clearly is an all brawn no brains person.
from jkatj's journal

Okay, I challenge you all to write stories explaining to me how that bike really got there.

Comments

The Fence and its Slave

[smallbearcub.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, there was a Fence. This Fence was a Dominating Fence, and enjoyed capturing things and locking them up for Its Pleasure.

Being a Fence had its disadvantages, though. Fences are stationary. The Fence had no problem catching things that went by on wheels, or crawled on legs; it could catch things that were thrown to It, and trap things that walked into It; but these things could go away, and the Fence could not catch them again, because it was stuck in the ground.

"I am lonely," thought the Fence. "I want a plaything that cannot leave me."

The Fence sat alone for many months, and wept silently when no one was looking.

One day, a scruffy young man drove up in a pickup truck full of junk. Out of the bed of the truck, he removed a stationary bike, a matress, and a sofa. He set them on the curb and placed a cardboard sign in front of them that read "FREE," then drove away hurriedly.

Fence was immediately drawn to the stationary bike. "Hey stationary bike," Fence called in Its Fence Voice. "Who are you with?"

"I am with no one," replied the stationary bike. "I am alone."

"You will call me Sir, stationary bike," said the Fence. "You are with Me now."

"Yes Sir," said the stationary bike.

Days went by. First someone picked up the mattress, then someone picked up the sofa. Secretly, the Fence was very afraid that someone would take his stationary bike, but of course he never showed that he was scared. More than anything, the Fence wanted the stationary bike to be his forever.

Their bond grew very strong. One day, the stationary bike was singing a song to the Fence beneath the full moon, and the Fence was pretending to not enjoy it. In a moment of bravery, the stationary bike asked, "Sir? May I ask a question?"

"What, bike?" said the Fence.

"What do you want more than anything?"

The Fence thought very hard. He became quiet and pensive. Silently, he wished that the stationary bike would be attatched to him forever, so no one could ever take it away. He wished and wished and wished so hard, a Link fell out of His Chain and hit the ground.

"Sir! cried the stationary bike. "Your Link!"

At first the Fence was mortified. He had shown weakness! What kind of Fence was he? Then something magical happened.

The wind began to blow, a warm zephyr wind. The stationary bike began to hover above the ground and drift back and forth. "Sir!" it cried. "Save me!" The Fence watched in astonishment as the stationary bike drifted towards the Fence and brushed against it with a satisfying "clink." The Link, which had fallen on the ground, rose up and began to duplicate Itself into a Chain.

"Sationary bike, you are Mine," said the Fence, feeling it was the right time to say so. "You will never leave Me. You will do what I say when I say it. You are My stationary bike."

"Yes Sir!" sobbed the stationary bike. With these words, the Chain, which had once been the Link, clamped firmly around the stationary bike and the Fence, joining the two together for eternity.

And They lived happily ever after. The end.

Re: The Fence and its Slave

[soulmyst.livejournal.com]

Wow... that was more interesting than anything I could come up with
Kyle

[the-moonshiner.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm sort of in training to make shit up for a living, but that just boggles my mind.

[sammka.livejournal.com]

Once there was a woman who bought a stationary bike from a mysterious wandering merchant. She was hoping that it was a magical stationary bike that could fly or something when she pedaled it. But instead, it was just a crappy piece of junk that didn't even work as a stationary bike let alone a magical flying thingy. However, it was surprisingly lightweight because everything but the frame had been gutted out for parts. So instead of riding the stationary bike for exercise, she took to carrying along with her on her power walks.

One day, she was power-walking down the street when she saw a runaway puppy wandering around. She rested the stationary bike against the fence and chained it there so nobody would steal it, and then went off chasing the puppy. Finally, she caught it right as it was about to run across a busy street.

"Thank you for so much for saving my life!" said the puppy.
"No problem," said the woman. And then they both ran off to join the circus.

The stationary bike, left alone and gutted of parts, awaited its owner's return. But she never came back. So it cried.

oh my goodness

[jkatj.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you petitioned for the backstory to my entry. The two entries so far are quite amuzing.

Are you going to contribute as well?

[ziggurat.livejournal.com]

what do you think of this (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/06/030613075252.htm) study?

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I think this about the study and this about the horrendously icky homophobic jerk of a researcher who conducted the study.

[ziggurat.livejournal.com]

i see. thanks.