How to Make Good Use of Homophobes

[queerbychoice]

You've seen those TV craft shows where Martha Stewart or whoever shows you how to turn your last night's garbage into a miniature work of art and exhorts you to remember that nothing, no matter how useless it at first appears, ever needs to go to waste, right? But no matter how many times the craft show hostesses extract Easter egg dye from leftover fruit rinds and then (after Easter's over) teach you how to turn the broken eggshells into Christmas ornaments, they never do explain how to extract anything remotely useful from some forms of garbage. Like, say, your homophobic uncle.

Well, now you can! Because princesswitch is here to teach us all her technique. Now you can find out how having a homophobe nearby can enable you to obtain free copies of nearly anything you want!

Comments

[the-moonshiner.livejournal.com]

...Um.

First reaction: :D
Second reaction: :(

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

That is a cool bottle, though.

[princesswitch.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how to feel about it either, so I played it for humor. The fact that my mom's been actually admitting that I'm really bisexual and not going through a phase lately has cheered me up some, but she's still a practitioner of Will and Grace homophobia. (Gays are so cute as long as they aren't in your family or propositioning you.) Probably what I should do is see if I can find a way to convince her that her lovely new laser printer is something only a queer person would have.

[the-moonshiner.livejournal.com]

AHHH. When I read it the first time I thought your MOM was bisexual and there were some internalized homophobia undertones there.

Okay then, that's funnier now.

[princesswitch.livejournal.com]

My mom is a grown-up tomboy, significantly butcher than myself, and while she looks feminine enough, she's more attractive to women than she likes to think. I have no reason to doubt that she's anything but straighty-straight, though. It's amazing, though, that this woman who prides herself on being tough and one of the guys can be squicked by a pickup attempt, a perfume bottle, or an allusion to lesbian culture.