How to Make a Stylish Drag Outfit on 68 Cents or Less

[queerbychoice]

So I was at the grocery store today and they had a sale on these things, these big wads of brightly colored plastic netting, I forgot what they called them, shower scrubbers or something like that. I looked at them and thought, "I have absolutely no need of a shower scrubber but what a lovely shade of lavender this plastic netting is!" and it was only like $0.68 so I decided the lovely lavender netting would be mine, no matter that I had no idea what I'd ever do with it. And I got home and took it out of the grocery bag and started fondling it (um . . . that sounds vaguely perverted but it is what I was doing) and I got hold of the little white string at the center that held the netting into its little ball, and I pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and suddenly all at once the whole 25 feet of lovely lavender plastic netting came spilling out free and untethered.

How many balls of lavender plastic netting have you liberated today?

So anyway, now I have this incredibly long length of lovely lavender plastic netting, longer than any feather boa and twice as fluorescent, so I wrapped it all around and around myself and it looks ever so stylish, just like taffeta or chiffon. Well, at least, it looks just like taffeta or chiffon to me, because I took my glasses off.

. . .

Update: This News Just In!

Embryomystic finally joined my mailing list like I've been trying to get him to do for months! And look, I'm already conveniently dressed up to celebrate!

::dances around ecstatically::

::gets dizzy::

::trips on trailing lavender plastic netting::

::falls::

::collapses in a big writhing happy lavender heap::

Comments

[embryomystic.livejournal.com]

How cute.

I was perusing your website.

I didn't realize you had so much blue blood. How did you research all of that?

Augustus, man. Wow.

And I'd forgotten about the distorted picture of you on your first portrait page.

You know, darling, if we're to make love, I'd like to know your biological sex beforehand. Not that it would change my mind, but you know, it's nice to know.