In Which Gayle Contemplates Becoming a Jehovah's Witness

[queerbychoice]

Today two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door! I was very amused. I didn't actually answer the door, because I had no clothes on; I just peered through the peephole at them as they stuck a pamphlet on my door, and then later when I retrieved the pamphlet I found out they were Jehovah's Witnesses. They were two women, all glamorously coated with makeup so my first guess had been that they were selling cosmetics. Anyway, I bothered reading their pamphlet! See, the first two paragraphs said this:

"We think it proper to hear from you what your thoughts are, for truly as regards this sect it is known to us that everywhere it is spoke against." (Acts 28:22) These community leaders in first-century Rome set a fine example. They wanted to hear from the source, rather than from outside critics alone.

Similarly, Jehovah's Witnesses today are often spoken against, and it would be a mistake to expect to learn the truth about them from prejudiced sources. So we are pleased to explain to you some of our principal beliefs.

So I thought: Hey, I'm very familiar with the experience of being spoken against and having people develop prejudiced beliefs about me based on hearing false statements from other sources! I should listen to what these people have to say about themselves! For all I know, maybe they'll reveal that they're not actually a religion at all and they don't actually believe in any deities and they're not actually homophobic or sexist and really they're a radical queer organization! And then I might be inspired to join their non-religion and advocate it along with them!

But then immediately after that, they went on to say, "We believe that 'all Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial'" and a bunch of other stuff about this god thing they believe in and I quickly lost interest, because I've had 28 years of living surrounded by religious people and I'm quite satisfied that my lack of belief in deities does not result from merely not having heard enough religious people trying to convert me yet. And then I was just immensely amused that they'd wasted their time bothering to come to my apartment at all. And then I sang John Lennon's "Imagine" to myself, because I don't know any better atheist hymn than that one.

Comments

[zombiegirl.livejournal.com]

one of my friends at school was a witness...she was going through very hard times with her family and what she found among jehovah's witnesses was something that made her feel comfortable, because it has that family structure.
but when she managed to move on her own and stopped having family issues, she left the witnesses for traditional catholic church and she became a lot more open minded and started realising that some of the people she hated (such as me for example) were not necesarily her ennemies and didn't necessarily live a "sinful" life that bounded them to "evil".
all i can say about that sect is that they really unable people to think or have their own description of faith...well like any sect actually.

[theobscure.livejournal.com]

Besides, if you were a Witness, you couldn't have your birthday or xmas. I can't think of a bigger turn-off to young converts than "no presents, EVER!"

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Well, it's probably designed to attract their parents. Specifically, to attract bad parents who don't much like their kids and don't think the kids deserve any presents.

[lm.livejournal.com]

As I understand it, Witnesses believe people who listen to rock musician are automatically worshipping Satan. So unless you publically renounce Bowie and all his lies and empty promises, you probably couldn't join their ranks anyway. *pats*

[spiritofnow.livejournal.com]

Are the Jehovah's Witnesses the ones who believe in all that subliminal suggestion backmasking stuff on 'Stairway to Heaven' and what-not?

I would die before giving up rock.

[lm.livejournal.com]

Possibly. There used to be a very nice elderly lady that came by my house and quietly gave my eight-year-old self a copy of The Watchtower once a month. And I remember all the articles about the evil evil rock music. One called rock the aural embodiment of an altar to Satan.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

I'm rather amused that the post on my friends page that immediately after this one linked to A Perfect Circle's video for their cover of "Imagine" by John Lennon, which is a very dark, cynical, and modern take on the song. It's a powerful cover and also a rather sad statement of how much more of a dark and cynical age we now live in.