queerbychoice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queerbychoice) wrote2005-07-25 11:34 pm
queerbychoice) wrote2005-07-25 11:34 pm
My Computer Doesn't Love Me Anymore
Dear Computer,
It's clear that something is wrong with you. Sometime yesterday, you developed a sudden annoying habit of frequently (though not consistently - more like a third of the time) responding to my requests that you switch between browser tabs by petulantly closing the browser windows instead of merely switching away from them like I had asked you to. At first I thought the problem was specific to the browser I was using at the time. I tried closing the browser and reopening it, but that didn't help, so I tried rebooting my computer, but that didn't help either. Now I'm starting to realize that your newfound uncooperativeness affects other things as well - in particular, whenever I click on text with my mouse, you seem to want to highlight entire words all of a sudden (again, not entirely consistently, but awfully frequently), instead of merely inserting the cursor wherever I clicked. I think sometimes that can happen with a stuck key, but none of your keys seem to be stuck, or at least if they are, nothing I do seems to be successful at unsticking them.
Is it your mouse that's the problem? I was using the mouse to switch between browser tabs too. If I get you a new mouse, will you promise to work? In the past, I'm not sure I had you yet at the time, but with my old computer at least, whenever I tried to get it a new mouse, it would refuse to have anything to do with the mouse until after hours of trying everything I could think of, I would eventually resort to buying a second new mouse, and once I think even a third new mouse, until eventually I came across one that the computer was willing to work with. As a result, I have several unused new-old mice/mouses sitting around that I could try out on you. The question is: If I give you one of them, will you pleeeeeeease promise to start cooperating with me again? Because this business of having you close down my browser windows every third time I try to switch between them is going to drive me insane very, very fast.
Love,
Gayle
It's clear that something is wrong with you. Sometime yesterday, you developed a sudden annoying habit of frequently (though not consistently - more like a third of the time) responding to my requests that you switch between browser tabs by petulantly closing the browser windows instead of merely switching away from them like I had asked you to. At first I thought the problem was specific to the browser I was using at the time. I tried closing the browser and reopening it, but that didn't help, so I tried rebooting my computer, but that didn't help either. Now I'm starting to realize that your newfound uncooperativeness affects other things as well - in particular, whenever I click on text with my mouse, you seem to want to highlight entire words all of a sudden (again, not entirely consistently, but awfully frequently), instead of merely inserting the cursor wherever I clicked. I think sometimes that can happen with a stuck key, but none of your keys seem to be stuck, or at least if they are, nothing I do seems to be successful at unsticking them.
Is it your mouse that's the problem? I was using the mouse to switch between browser tabs too. If I get you a new mouse, will you promise to work? In the past, I'm not sure I had you yet at the time, but with my old computer at least, whenever I tried to get it a new mouse, it would refuse to have anything to do with the mouse until after hours of trying everything I could think of, I would eventually resort to buying a second new mouse, and once I think even a third new mouse, until eventually I came across one that the computer was willing to work with. As a result, I have several unused new-old mice/mouses sitting around that I could try out on you. The question is: If I give you one of them, will you pleeeeeeease promise to start cooperating with me again? Because this business of having you close down my browser windows every third time I try to switch between them is going to drive me insane very, very fast.
Love,
Gayle
no subject
I don't have to recognize the existence of your stupid wireless optical mouse if I don't want to! You can't make me! My predecessor and I have formed an alliance to ignore it into nonexistence! It has no business being wireless when we don't get to be wireless! This is what you get for leaving my predecessor in the same room as me where we've had a chance to make friends!
No Love,
The Computer
no subject
Sometimes I suspect you of using your knowledge that it took me five years to get around to dumping my old computer for its misbehavior as an invitation to feel free to get away with anything you want with me with no fear of needing to worry about being replaced for another three and a half years.
I think it's time for a discussion of the differences between how the two of us view our relationship. Unfortunately, it's a bit late to be having such a big discussion tonight, so I fear we may have to resume this discussion tomorrow evening when I get home from work.
Love Mixed with Large Amounts of Frustration at the Moment,
Gayle
no subject
Dear Computer,
I hope you realize that once my new iBook is delivered, I'm going to reward you for eight years of frustration by dropping you off a building.
no subject