queerbychoice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queerbychoice) wrote2007-04-08 10:41 am
queerbychoice) wrote2007-04-08 10:41 am
Happy Birthday, Dear Queerness!
Today is the 15th birthday of my queerness! My queerness is now the same age that I was when I turned queer. Therefore, my queerness is now old enough to turn queer itself!
Two years ago, when my queerness became a teenager, I conducted a poll about what it should do during its teenage years. Most of you voted that it should "write atrociously awful poetry all the time," "play queer female music nonstop at top volume for the next seven years," and "write angsty LiveJournal entries complaining about how its tyrannical parent (yep, that'd be me) maintains such close watch over its sex life that it'll probably be over 18 before it manages to have sex with a woman." Very few of you wanted it to "have awkward, fumbling, irresponsible, and not very good typical underage sex," "dye its hair unnatural colors and pierce all my body parts (ow!)," "rebel against its mother (that'd be me again) by doing whatever will horrify me most (like becoming a Christian fundamentalist?)," "question its sexual preference and become exclusively lesbian," "stock up on acne treatments" (What, you want it to have to suffer?) or "start claiming to have been innate, in desperate hopes that this will enable it to become a member of the 'popular' crowd."
So far, it still seems more interested in playing ex-queer male music (David Bowie) than any other kind. It has written some poetry since then, in an effort to seduce elusive sexy women, but it prefers to think that the poetry was quite good (even though the poetry did not quite succeed in the intended seduction . . . I guess there are limits to what poetry can achieve). It's doing pretty well on the angsty LiveJournal entries, although at least it has managed to get a date at a younger age than I ever did. It has not dyed its hair or pierced my body parts, had sex of any kind (not even the opposite sex kind, in the last two years), become a Christian fundamentalist (even though it recently pretended to), become exclusively lesbian, or started claiming to be innate.
Most of your queernesses were in grade school when I last asked. How are they doing lately? Have you been satisfied with their report cards? Mine's report cards always say that it gets good grades in queer theory but it needs to learn to socialize more with the other queernesses. But I figure it takes after me, because my report cards always said much the same thing.
Two years ago, when my queerness became a teenager, I conducted a poll about what it should do during its teenage years. Most of you voted that it should "write atrociously awful poetry all the time," "play queer female music nonstop at top volume for the next seven years," and "write angsty LiveJournal entries complaining about how its tyrannical parent (yep, that'd be me) maintains such close watch over its sex life that it'll probably be over 18 before it manages to have sex with a woman." Very few of you wanted it to "have awkward, fumbling, irresponsible, and not very good typical underage sex," "dye its hair unnatural colors and pierce all my body parts (ow!)," "rebel against its mother (that'd be me again) by doing whatever will horrify me most (like becoming a Christian fundamentalist?)," "question its sexual preference and become exclusively lesbian," "stock up on acne treatments" (What, you want it to have to suffer?) or "start claiming to have been innate, in desperate hopes that this will enable it to become a member of the 'popular' crowd."
So far, it still seems more interested in playing ex-queer male music (David Bowie) than any other kind. It has written some poetry since then, in an effort to seduce elusive sexy women, but it prefers to think that the poetry was quite good (even though the poetry did not quite succeed in the intended seduction . . . I guess there are limits to what poetry can achieve). It's doing pretty well on the angsty LiveJournal entries, although at least it has managed to get a date at a younger age than I ever did. It has not dyed its hair or pierced my body parts, had sex of any kind (not even the opposite sex kind, in the last two years), become a Christian fundamentalist (even though it recently pretended to), become exclusively lesbian, or started claiming to be innate.
Most of your queernesses were in grade school when I last asked. How are they doing lately? Have you been satisfied with their report cards? Mine's report cards always say that it gets good grades in queer theory but it needs to learn to socialize more with the other queernesses. But I figure it takes after me, because my report cards always said much the same thing.
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Does your mom live in the Sacramento area? Is she a Pember-lite? Does she hang with other Jane-geeks? My Austen-ness is only going on 3 years, so I don't have the whole thing memorized, but a surprising amount of daily life makes me think of her.
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Do you suppose crochet is part of this pattern? I'm going to make my girlfriend a lacy top once I get either a mile of size 3 crochet thread, or a mile of fingering weight yarn in non-baby colors.