queerbychoice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queerbychoice) wrote2001-12-31 05:19 pm
queerbychoice) wrote2001-12-31 05:19 pm
Loving People, Being Loved
Several teenagers on LiveJournal who I don't really know very well have said things in the past week that reminded me of myself and thereby made me momentarily adore them. I wish everyone would inspire me to adore them a lot more often.
I got an unexpected drunken cyber-hug from Furball out of the blue today and it reminded me that there are a whole lot of people who really like me a lot. I don't know what surprises me most anymore - the fact that a lot of people don't like me or the fact that a lot of people do. If all the people would get together and agree on any one consistent opinion I expect I could get used to it. Or if there were a consistent pattern to the difference - if people consistently liked me if I liked them and did nice things for them, and disliked me if I disliked them or didn't do anything nice for them.
But then, I don't like or dislike people primarily on the basis of whether they like or dislike me either. I like or dislike people on the basis of whether they possess a whole array of specific qualities that I look for in the people I prefer to surround myself with - and liking me is one such quality, but certainly not the only one. And although I do possess all (or at least 99%) of the qualities I prefer in other people, those other people don't necessarily seek the same qualities that I do.
It's all very unfortunate really. But since there are a lot of people who really like me a lot, and since there doesn't seem to be anything much wrong with most of them aside from my not knowing them very well, I should probably consider paying more attention to them.
I'm making a Midwinter present for Imp today. Anyone else who wants a present from me is welcome to write me a convincing explanation of why I should give them one, and I'll consider it.
I got an unexpected drunken cyber-hug from Furball out of the blue today and it reminded me that there are a whole lot of people who really like me a lot. I don't know what surprises me most anymore - the fact that a lot of people don't like me or the fact that a lot of people do. If all the people would get together and agree on any one consistent opinion I expect I could get used to it. Or if there were a consistent pattern to the difference - if people consistently liked me if I liked them and did nice things for them, and disliked me if I disliked them or didn't do anything nice for them.
But then, I don't like or dislike people primarily on the basis of whether they like or dislike me either. I like or dislike people on the basis of whether they possess a whole array of specific qualities that I look for in the people I prefer to surround myself with - and liking me is one such quality, but certainly not the only one. And although I do possess all (or at least 99%) of the qualities I prefer in other people, those other people don't necessarily seek the same qualities that I do.
It's all very unfortunate really. But since there are a lot of people who really like me a lot, and since there doesn't seem to be anything much wrong with most of them aside from my not knowing them very well, I should probably consider paying more attention to them.
I'm making a Midwinter present for Imp today. Anyone else who wants a present from me is welcome to write me a convincing explanation of why I should give them one, and I'll consider it.
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That makes me sooooo happy!
Ohh...happy new year! :)