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It still feels a bit like a dream that I might wake up from at any moment. I had a plan for what my new life living with Susan would be like, and it didn't involve me being unemployed. Aren't we supposed to get a honeymoon period where everything is perfect in our lives when we first move in together and we can just be blissfully happy? I didn't even get to finish moving in before I got laid off. I had expected to spend most weeknights at my apartment for another week or two, until whenever I received the correct equipment to telecommute with. The equipment that it now seems the company never actually ordered for me at all, even though they told me they had. But now there's no need to spend any nights in my apartment at all, because no purpose is served by being closer to the office building where I'm no longer employed. Susan and I are planning to move the last bits of my stuff out of there this evening, and then I don't expect to go back there again except perhaps to clean the place up and of course to return the keys. So all of a sudden I'm pretty much done moving. Sooner than planned, and not for the right reasons.

Granted, having to pay only a little over half as much rent as before (because the duplex costs very little more than my apartment did, and is split between both of us) will certainly come in handy now. But I wasn't moving in for economic reasons, and I don't like having economic reasons suddenly thrust into the move after it's already mostly over.

I had really hoped to keep that job for the rest of my life. Even though the workload had become increasingly unreasonably heavy as a result of so many other people having been laid off before I was, I still really loved the job. I loved the actual tasks I performed and responsisbilities I fulfilled and the people I worked with - below, beside, and immediately above me in the hierarchy. I didn't so much love the upper management, but who does ever love upper management at any job? I would have put up with continuing to work 60-hour weeks regularly for the same pay I had received when working less than two thirds of that. I loved the job because I was good at it, because the people I directly interacted with made me feel consistently very appreciated for it, because I felt my talents were valued and put to good use. But apparently other people, faceless people far above me in the hierarchy, who never interacted with me at all and only looked at my salary on their computer screens and a shortfall in the company budget, didn't value my talents. And apparently those people's judgment is all that matters, in the end - not the judgment of people who actually knew me and worked with me.
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Didn't I already go through this back in July 2004? Why do I have to go through it all over again?

Promotion!

Mar. 16th, 2007 01:05 am
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I got the job! Now I have benefits. Or rather, I will have benefits on the first Monday that falls at least ten days after I officially accept the job offer.

It's not very much of a raise in terms of actual cash, but I guess that's all right since my salary in terms of actual cash was already pretty satisfying to me before. I've been spending this evening reading through the benefits. They seem to be rather extensive: things like full tuition reimbursement for up to $5,000 per calendar year if I were to go back to college in the evenings, mass transit discounts, car/home/rental insurance discounts, adoption assistance, fertility treatments, day care assistance (employers in education-related fields seem to really like their employees to have children . . .), free career/relationship/miscellaneous counseling, discounted legal/financial advice, substance abuse rehabilitation, extremely extensive mental health care coverage, a credit union I'd never previously heard of . . . not that I'm particularly likely to use a single one of these things, ever. But it also provides the basics: a perfectly respectable choice of health care plans, a pension plan that I get enrolled in after one year and vested in after five years, and a 401(k) plan that I can enroll in immediately. Those are things I will use.

Actually, the tuition reimbursement thing is a tiny bit tempting. Not a whole lot tempting, but a tiny bit. I don't feel like I need any further education for the sake of job advancement, but further education for the sake of my own entertainment might be vaguely appealing. Or not. The structuredness of formal education repels me at the same time that it mildly appeals to me. I could take classes in creative writing, which would just be more of the same that I took as an undergrad, but which would provide me with deadlines I'd need to write for. Or I could take classes in random wildly different subjects that I never took as an undergrad, just for the sake of finding out what they're like. Who knows? Too bad there aren't likely to be any classes available in my major non-literary interests, such as Queer by Choice Issues, Militant Atheism, How to Cohabit with a Crazed Feline Fluffball, or even Landscape Design with California Native Plants.

I did read two things online this evening that were interesting and vaguely educational: "The Height Gap" by Burkhard Bilger and (via [livejournal.com profile] heron61) "Red Family, Blue Family" by Doug Muder. I'm not sure quite what to make of either of them at the moment, but I find them both thought-provoking and well worth reading.
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Today I had a job interview! For the same job I already have, except as a regular employee with benefits and a raise, instead of as a contract employee with no benefits and my current salary.

If all job interviews were like the one I had today, I think I would want to go on job interviews every day of my life. First, I didn't have to worry about what to wear, because it was a telephone interview. Second, the interview consisted mostly of three people spending half an hour flattering me, and me listening and saying, "Thank you! That's exactly what I've been trying to do . . ." a lot. They did ask me three or four questions, but since I had spent almost all day yesterday anxiously preparing myself for any questions they might ask, I had no difficulty giving good answers to all the questions. I think my job prospects are excellent.

I would not like to repeat the stressful all-day preparations beforehand every weekend, though. Or even the jitteriness of the few hours before the interview. I feel like doing something celebratory this evening, to reward myself for surviving all the stressful preparations. But it's raining outside and I need to pay my rent and buy groceries, and nothing in particular is coming to mind at the moment that I could do to celebrate. Celebrating is so much easier for people who enjoy alcohol or expensive restaurants. Since I hate both (not only the expense of expensive restaurants but pretty much everything else about them too), neither one is a useful way of celebrating. I did buy myself a 70-cent Twix bar from the vending machine at work immediately after the interview, which was a somewhat unusual event intended as a celebratory act, but that doesn't seem sufficient. And I gave Stardust canned kitten food just now, but that doesn't seem sufficient either (especially since she took one tiny nibble and then lost interest . . .). I could buy some sort of vaguely unusual food at the grocery store, but I already made apple/cinnamon/almond bread in my bread machine this weekend, which feels like all the vaguely unusual food that my unappreciative-of-culinary-variety self has any desire for right now. Probably a non-food reward is called for here, but nothing else I particularly want to buy is coming to mind either, and it's hard to do non-purchasing-related celebratory things when it's raining outside. So, um . . . suggestions, anyone?

I have a co-worker who has been doing the same job as me for about three times as long as I've been doing it, who is applying for a regular, non-contract position right now too. There are two openings, one on my project and one on her project, and both of us have been informed that important people want us to be hired for those two positions, each on our own project. So if all goes well, we will both be hired by our own projects. But if I get hired and she doesn't, I fear she may hate me forever. She's no one I actually know, really, but I hope we both get hired.

Promotions

May. 1st, 2002 12:11 am
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My bosses at work have been making "We're going to promote you any minute now, really soon, any second now, we're just about to do it" noises at me for rather a long time. Lately, however, the decibel levels of those noises have been increasing to almost deafening degree, so that I can't see how they can possibly increase the decibel level any further without actually promoting me. Today they upped the ante by making a "First thing tomorrow morning we're going to have you try doing the job we're planning to promote you to, so that we can make sure you're trained in it before we start paying you for it" noise. I don't suppose it makes any substantial difference to my life or my job search, since in view of how they've been laying off 10% of the employees it's extremely unlikely that any promotion I could get would involve very much actual money - there just isn't really any money around to be given out. So I really consider it already resolved that I'll be leaving for New York sometime before 2003. Still, my ego would definitely appreciate the promotion, and my r?sum? curriculum vitae (why do the accented e characters suddenly not display correctly in this entry, whereas they had worked just fine in a previous one?) would look prettier with two promotions on it instead of one.

Harolyn

Feb. 13th, 2002 12:56 pm
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Today at work I was assigned to edit the biographical information for someone whose first name is "Harolyn." Isn't that the most utterly perfect genderbending name imaginable? Now I want to write a story with a character named Harolyn, just to make use of the name.

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