Pop-Tart Mysteries

[queerbychoice]

"Why do Pop Tarts come in twos, like animals on biblical arks? I swear they're too poisonous for me ever to eat both of 'em, so I sit around lookin' at the second one, feeling bad, like a six-year-old who didn't finish his breakfast.
And don't tell me they're in there mating, like biblical ark animals, because man, if that were the case, there'd be baby Pop Tarts in there, at least occasionally..."
from Ill Scientist's journal

Comments

[illscientist.livejournal.com]

Haha, wow! I've been quoted. And you managed to comb out all the whining that made up the rest of that post...

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

It made me sit up straight and think to myself, I want to spend my life surrounded by people who eternally spew insightful musings like this about apparently boring commonplace nothing like Pop Tarts.

But then I realized that if such people are also commonly prone to playing that godawful "Champagne Supernova" song, I'd better not go anywhere near them.

By the way, did you know Amy Bloom has another collection of short stories called Come to Me? I just bought it and have only read the first three stories so far. They're very typical Amy Bloom, brimming with sexual taboos on every page.

You really should read Howard Buten's When I was Five I Killed Myself. It's not short stories, but it's a very short novel, maybe more of a novella, and it's, like, the ultimate book that everything Amy Bloom has ever written has aspired towards but hasn't quite gotten to yet. It's the most perfectly crafted work of utter genius. Oh, and oddly, he's also a psychologist like Amy Bloom. I think maybe they're cross-dressed personas of the same person, a transcontinental commuter who lives as a man in Europe and a woman in America and maintains dual psychologist/novelist careers under both names.

[illscientist.livejournal.com]

I did know about that other Amy Bloom novel, yeah. I read that- I forget where I first heard about her, but I went on a huge kick, reading all three of her books in like three days. I know that's bad- somebody told me that short stories are like wine, in that you read one, and you savor it all day- if you read all the stories in a book, in a day, then you'll be happy and full, but you won't properly appreciate all of 'em. And while I love the idea, I hardly have the restraint to pull that off, ever.

hey, do you want to know how cool I am? I hadn't even considered Bloom's work in terms of sexual taboos. I just thought they were interesting, and about really well-rendered people. Now I have to go back and re-read, in that context...

That Buten book's going on the list, even though the title reminds me of the Eminem line about how "all my life I've felt like someone else because when I was twelve I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt;" hmm, maybe that's a good thing. I'm not sure. But I'ma get it, except not today, because I don't want to drive out for lunch because it's icy.

[illscientist.livejournal.com]

Oh and hey, it's not like I'm copping to that Oasis nonsense in real life- this is livejournal! I'm allowed to indulge my geekulence.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Well, if we ever had that broom closet date I wouldn't trust you to supply the music for it.

But I was listening to Poison yesterday, so I'm in no position to supply it either. A conversation in Frank's journal brought on a fit of nostalgia which somehow led me to find myself listening to Poison. It's scary, I know.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

No, she's written four books now. Two novels and two short story collections. Come to Me is short stories, copyright 1993.

"hey, do you want to know how cool I am? I hadn't even considered Bloom's work in terms of sexual taboos."

That's sort of scary. So like, to you it's perfectly ordinary that every other character is having sex with their mother or father. Woo hoo!

The Howard Buten book's title is oddly almost entirely irrelevant to the plot. It was published under a different title earlier, but the first title was just the main character's name and conveyed even less than this one does. After I finished the book I sat around thinking a while about why it got the title it did, because nothing the kid did when he was five years old really has anything to do with the story. But the title When I Was Five I Killed Myself sort of conveys the mood. Or at least a mood, something not so terribly far off from the mood. And the book probably wouldn't work with a title much more concrete than that.

It differs from Eminem though, in that you never get to find out what the kid's like as an adult. The story takes place when the kid is eight.

[illscientist.livejournal.com]

Hmm. See? I just... I read 'em all in the same day! I probably just spent a lot more time thinking about the ones that really got me, and maybe forgot the ones about the sectual taboos? (That doesn't sound right...) hmm.

Well, now I have to go back and re-read ALL the short stories, although I guess, technically, that's not really a bad thing. As for Poison... hmm, maybe we can listen to "Open up and say Ahh" in that broom closet; I loved that album.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Wow, you really are uncool. I'm impressed. Actually I was listening to the Flesh and Blood album yesterday, because that's the one they'd just released at the time I was 14 and in love with Bret Michaels. But I have the Open Up and Say . . . Ahh! album too, so I'll be glad to play it for you in the broom closet if you want.

I can't remember any Amy Bloom stories that didn't feature characters breaking exotic sexual taboos. Which maybe tells you something about my own memory's priorities.